Detailed Answer

Short answer: If an heir (for example, an uncle) refuses to sign a renunciation that would allow you to qualify as the personal representative, you have several options: negotiate or offer incentives, seek a court hearing asking the probate court to appoint you anyway, pursue alternative administration routes (small-estate or ancillary procedures), or, in extreme cases, ask the court to determine the heir’s capacity or fitness. Which option will work depends on the estate’s size, the statutory priority for appointment, and the probate judge’s view of the parties’ conduct and fitness.

How Connecticut probate appointment normally works

When someone dies without naming a personal representative (or when the named person can’t serve), Connecticut law follows a priority list of eligible persons who may be appointed. Typically, the court first looks to the decedent’s surviving spouse, adult children, parents, siblings, or other statutory heirs. If a person who is otherwise entitled to appointment wants someone else to administer, that person can renounce their right to appointment by signing a renunciation form and filing it with the probate court. The renunciation lets a lower-priority person (for example, you) step into the role without the court needing to appoint the higher-priority heir.

When an heir refuses to sign

When a close relative refuses to sign a renunciation, the probate court has the final authority to appoint a personal representative. The court will consider:

Who has statutory priority for appointment;
Whether the objecting relative is willing and able to serve;
Whether the objecting relative is acting in bad faith to delay administration or to improperly benefit; and
The best interests of the estate and creditors.

If the heir simply refuses to sign but does not file any objection or claim, the court may nevertheless appoint the most appropriate person after notice and any required hearing.

Practical steps you can take

Try to resolve it informally. Ask why the uncle refuses. Offer clear information about duties, compensation, bond requirements, or even to share reasonable fees. Sometimes a simple explanation or a small agreement resolves the standoff.
Offer to post a bond or accept court supervision. If the uncle worries about liability or management, offering to post a probate bond or accept court oversight can make him comfortable renouncing.
File your petition with the probate court. Even without the renunciation, you can file to be appointed. The court will give notice to interested persons and hold a hearing if someone objects. Bring documentation showing why you are qualified and any reasons the uncle should not block administration (e.g., he is unwilling or unable to serve).
Ask the court for a hearing on fitness or refusal to serve. If the uncle is refusing for improper reasons or is incapable of serving, you can ask the probate court to determine he is unwilling or unfit to serve. A court can then appoint an alternative personal representative.
Consider small-estate or summary procedures. If the estate meets Connecticut’s small-estate thresholds or if specific assets pass by beneficiary designation (POD, TOD, life insurance), you may avoid formal appointment or use a simplified procedure. Check with the probate court whether a small-estate process or affidavit procedure applies.
Consult a probate attorney if the refusal is contentious. If the uncle’s refusal is strategic or accompanied by threats, an attorney can file the appropriate motions, prepare evidence of the uncle’s unwillingness or incapacity, and protect the estate’s interests.
If capacity is at issue, pursue a competency proceeding. If you reasonably suspect the uncle lacks mental capacity to make legal decisions, you can ask the court to determine capacity. If the court finds the uncle incompetent, his refusal to renounce has no legal effect and the court can appoint someone else.

What the probate judge can and cannot do

The probate judge cannot force a competent person to sign a renunciation. The judge can, however:

Appoint a different qualified person if the heir is unwilling or unfit to serve;
Require notice and hold a hearing to decide who should serve;
Require a bond or other safeguards; and
Remove or limit a person’s role if they act in bad faith, are incompetent, or otherwise unsuitable.

Documents and information to bring to court or to an attorney

Death certificate for the decedent;
Any will (even if informal) or beneficiary designations;
List of heirs and their contact information;
Inventory of known assets and liabilities;
Evidence of the uncle’s refusal (emails, texts, written statements); and
Any evidence suggesting incapacity or misconduct by the uncle.

Where to find Connecticut forms and rules

Connecticut probate forms, instructions, and local probate court information are available from the Connecticut Judicial Branch Probate Court pages: https://www.jud.ct.gov/probate/ and the probate forms repository: https://www.jud.ct.gov/webforms/. For the text of Connecticut statutes governing probate and administration, see the Connecticut General Assembly website: https://www.cga.ct.gov/current/.

When to get help from an attorney

Talk with a probate attorney if:

The uncle’s refusal creates a significant delay or increases estate exposure to creditor claims;
There are allegations of misconduct, fraud, or conflicts among heirs;
The estate is large or uses complex assets; or
You suspect the uncle lacks capacity and you may need a competency determination.

Helpful Hints

Start with a calm conversation. Many refusals come from misunderstanding.
File your petition early to preserve rights and protect estate assets from delay.
Ask the court about a bond if it will persuade an heir to renounce.
Document every communication in writing—email or certified mail is best.
Explore small-estate procedures if assets are modest; they can avoid full administration.
Bring proof of identity, relationship to the decedent, and asset lists to the probate office.
Use the court’s forms and read local probate rules; each probate court has procedures that matter.

Disclaimer

This article explains general principles of Connecticut probate law for educational purposes only. It is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship. For advice tailored to your situation, consult a Connecticut probate attorney or contact the probate court handling the estate.