How to get a copy of your parents’ estate plan in Delaware when a sibling won’t share it

Short answer: Your options depend on whether your parents are alive or deceased and whether the document is a will, a trust, or a power of attorney. If your parents are alive, the parents control access; you should ask them directly, request a written copy, and, if needed, involve an attorney to send a formal demand. If a parent is deceased, a will that has been filed for probate becomes part of the public record and you can obtain a copy from the court; a trust may remain private but beneficiaries generally have statutory and equitable rights to information and accountings and can ask a court (often the Court of Chancery) to compel production. See Delaware statutes on decedents’ estates (Title 12) for the probate rules: https://delcode.delaware.gov/title12/.

Disclaimer

This article is educational only and is not legal advice. I am not a lawyer. Consult a licensed Delaware attorney for advice specific to your situation.

Detailed answer — step-by-step depending on the situation

1) If your parents are alive

Who controls the documents: your parents. They can give or withhold copies of their will, trust, powers of attorney (POA), or health-care directives. A sibling who holds a copy is effectively holding a record that belongs to the parents.

Practical steps:

Ask the parent directly (in person or in writing). Tell them you want a copy and explain why (family planning, medical decision-making, clarity about beneficiaries or agents).
If the parent agrees but the sibling refuses to deliver a copy, ask your parent to provide a copy themselves or to sign a release authorizing the sibling to hand it over.
If the parent is incapacitated and your sibling is acting as an agent under a valid power of attorney or as health-care agent, that agent has duties to act in the principal’s best interest. If the agent is refusing to share relevant documents or information, you can ask the parent’s treating physicians, the facility, or an attorney for help. In some cases an attorney can send a formal demand letter to the sibling on the parent’s behalf.
If the sibling’s refusal harms the parent (for example, hiding a document that affects health decisions or finances), you can consult a Delaware attorney about filing a petition for guardianship, an accounting, or other relief to protect the parent’s interests. Trust and fiduciary issues often involve the Delaware Court of Chancery.

2) If one or both parents are deceased

Wills: When a will is submitted to probate, it becomes a public record. Under Delaware probate procedures (see Delaware Code, Title 12: Decedents’ Estates — https://delcode.delaware.gov/title12/), beneficiaries and members of the public can obtain copies from the probate office or the court where the will was filed. If your sibling is holding the original will and refuses to turn it in, you can:

Ask the sibling to deliver the original to the appropriate Register of Wills or to the probate court in the county where the decedent lived.
If the sibling refuses, consult a probate attorney about filing a petition to compel delivery of the original will or to open an estate without the original. A court can order production and can impose sanctions if someone unlawfully withholds an original will.

Trusts: Revocable living trusts are generally private and are not filed with the court. Whether you can get a copy depends on your status:

If you are a named beneficiary of the trust, Delaware law and equitable principles generally allow beneficiaries to request information and accountings. If the trustee refuses, beneficiaries can petition the Court of Chancery to compel disclosure and accounting. The Court of Chancery handles trust and fiduciary disputes in Delaware: https://courts.delaware.gov/chancery/.
If you are not a beneficiary, your right to a copy is limited. A court can still order disclosure in some circumstances (for example, to investigate possible wrongdoing, undue influence, or to establish rights), but the typical beneficiary protections will not apply.

3) Legal remedies you (or your attorney) may pursue in Delaware

Demand letter: Ask an attorney to send a certified demand telling the sibling to produce the document or face court action.
Probate petition (for wills): File to open the estate or to probate the will; the court process makes the will public. See Title 12 (Decedents’ Estates) for probate rules: https://delcode.delaware.gov/title12/.
Petition in Court of Chancery (for trusts and fiduciary duties): If a trustee or fiduciary refuses to provide required information or is suspected of misconduct, a beneficiary can file suit in Chancery to compel production and seek an accounting: https://courts.delaware.gov/chancery/.
Replevin or conversion claim: If someone is wrongfully withholding the original document (especially a will), an attorney may bring a civil claim to recover possession.
Emergency remedies: If withholding the document is causing immediate harm (for example, preventing medical decisions), an attorney can advise whether emergency equitable relief or a guardianship/ protective proceeding is appropriate.

4) Evidence and preparation — what to gather before you act

Any written requests you already made (copies of certified mail receipts, emails, texts).
Statements or admissions from the sibling that they hold the document.
Contact info for the parent’s attorney (if any), bank, or financial institutions that may hold trust or estate documents.
Names of all potential beneficiaries and their addresses.
Medical or incapacity information if the parent’s health is at issue.

5) Costs and timeline

Expect a range of costs: a simple attorney demand letter is relatively inexpensive; filing a probate case or a Chancery action will cost filing fees and attorney fees and may take months. If parties are willing to cooperate after a demand letter, you can often resolve the issue quickly and cheaply. If litigation is needed, plan for a longer timeline and higher cost.

6) When to hire an attorney

Talk to a Delaware attorney if:

Your sibling refuses a direct request and holds the original will or trust documents.
The parent is incapacitated and the sibling is acting as agent and withholding documents.
You suspect wrongdoing (fraud, undue influence, theft of assets).

Helpful Hints

Start with the parent if possible. The parent can control documents while alive and can direct the sibling to hand them over.
Ask whether the parent used an attorney or bank to prepare the documents — those professionals often keep copies.
Keep all communications in writing. Save emails, texts, and certified mail receipts as evidence.
Be clear about what you want: a copy of the will, a full trust agreement, recent trust accountings, or medical POA — each document may follow different rules.
If litigation becomes necessary, an experienced Delaware attorney can advise whether to file in probate court, Court of Chancery, or civil court based on the remedy you seek.
Use official state resources for basic research: Delaware Code (Title 12 — Decedents’ Estates): https://delcode.delaware.gov/title12/ and the Delaware Court of Chancery: https://courts.delaware.gov/chancery/.

Next practical steps

Ask your parent for a copy and ask whether the document’s drafter (attorney) keeps a copy.
Send a written demand to your sibling and keep proof of delivery.
If the sibling still refuses, consult a Delaware attorney experienced in probate, trusts, and estates to discuss a demand letter or filing a petition in the appropriate court.

Taking these steps will help you understand your rights under Delaware law and choose the most efficient path to obtain the document or appropriate court relief.