Detailed answer — your legal rights and steps under Maine law

1. Why probate and intestacy matter

When someone dies without a will, Maine’s probate laws (the Maine Probate Code, Title 18‑B) determine who inherits. The process of opening an estate and distributing assets is called probate administration. As a surviving spouse you are one of the first people the Probate Court considers under Maine’s intestacy rules.

See Maine’s probate statutes (Title 18‑B) for the full rules: https://legislature.maine.gov/statutes/18-B/.

2. Your inheritance rights (intestate succession)

If your spouse died intestate (without a valid will), state intestacy rules allocate the decedent’s property among the spouse, children, and possibly parents or other relatives. The exact share depends on who else survives the decedent (for example, whether the decedent left children, whether those children are also your children, or were from another relationship). The Probate Code governs those shares and the order of succession. A Maine probate attorney or the statute text will tell you what portion you are likely to receive.

Important: Certain assets avoid probate and pass directly outside intestacy by operation of law or contract. Examples include assets with named beneficiaries (life insurance, retirement accounts), jointly owned property held in joint tenancy with survivorship rights, and property with transfer-on-death or payable-on-death designations. Those assets typically pass to the named co‑owner or beneficiary and do not follow intestacy rules.

3. Your right to be the personal representative (estate administrator)

To manage and distribute the estate, someone must be appointed the personal representative (sometimes called an administrator when the decedent dies intestate). Maine law gives priority to certain persons when appointing a personal representative; a surviving spouse is typically high in that priority. If you want to manage the estate, you can file a petition for appointment with the Probate Court in the county where the decedent lived.

If family members try to appoint themselves or prevent you from acting, you can ask the court to appoint you and to issue orders protecting estate assets while the case proceeds. The court can issue temporary orders to keep property safe and to prevent improper transfers.

4. Decisions about funeral arrangements and immediate practical control

Who may make funeral or disposition decisions is often governed by statute and by any written directions left by the decedent. In many states the surviving spouse is the person with primary authority to control disposition of remains unless the decedent specified otherwise. If family members are interfering with access to the home, property, or the decedent’s personal effects, the Probate Court or, in urgent cases, a civil court can be asked for emergency relief to preserve assets.

5. How to respond if family is excluding you

If family members exclude you from decisions or from access to assets, you have several options:

• File a petition in Maine Probate Court to open administration of the estate and to be appointed personal representative.
• Ask the court for temporary protective orders (for example, to freeze accounts, to order an inventory, or to prevent sale/transfers of estate property) while the court resolves who should manage the estate.
• Demand accountings and records once someone is appointed administrator. If an administrator is appointed who is mismanaging the estate, you can move the court to remove and replace that person.
• If family members are denying you access to children, property, or physically locking you out, you may need immediate civil relief (for property access or protection) or, in family/domestic matters, family court assistance. These are separate remedies from probate but may be necessary for safety and access.

6. Property that commonly bypasses intestacy

Understand which assets pass outside probate because this affects what the estate controls and what the surviving spouse inherits through probate:

• Retirement accounts, IRAs, life insurance and annuities with named beneficiaries.
• Joint bank or investment accounts with rights of survivorship.
• Property held as joint tenants with right of survivorship or with transfer-on-death (TOD) designations.

These will pass to the named beneficiary or surviving joint owner and are not distributed by the probate court under intestacy.

7. Time-sensitive steps you should take now

1. Obtain certified copies of the death certificate (you’ll need several).
2. Secure important documents: marriage certificate, deeds, titles, account statements, insurance policies, beneficiary designations, and any draft or final will.
3. Contact the local Probate Court to learn the procedure to open an estate in the county where the decedent lived (Maine Judicial Branch — Probate information: https://www.courts.maine.gov/).
4. If someone is actively removing or hiding assets, seek immediate legal help so you can ask the court for emergency relief.
5. Keep careful records of all communications and transactions involving estate assets.

8. Costs, timelines, and potential conflicts

Probate timelines vary. Small estates may close in a few months; complex or contested estates can take a year or more. Contested disputes (for example, disagreements about who should be personal representative or how assets should be split) can increase legal fees and delay distribution. If you are being cut out, contesting the situation by filing the right probate petitions early gives you the best chance to preserve your rights.

9. When to get a lawyer and what to ask

Talk to a Maine probate attorney if:

• Family members are denying you access to property or to information about the estate.
• You want to be appointed the personal representative and the family opposes your appointment.
• The estate holds significant assets, complex assets (business interests, multiple real properties), or is likely to be contested.

Ask a potential attorney about their experience with Maine intestacy and contested probate matters, typical timelines, fees, and likely outcomes based on your facts.

10. Where to find official Maine resources

• Maine Probate Code (Title 18‑B) — Maine Legislature: https://legislature.maine.gov/statutes/18-B/
• Maine Judicial Branch (probate court information and local courthouse contacts): https://www.courts.maine.gov/
• Maine State Bar Association (lawyer referral): https://www.mainebar.org/

Helpful Hints

• Act quickly. Open an estate and request appointment as personal representative as soon as you can to prevent transfers or losses.
• Gather documents now: marriage certificate, death certificate(s), deed to home, vehicle titles, bank statements, insurance policies, retirement account statements, and any will drafts.
• Determine which accounts have beneficiaries or joint owners; those may pass outside probate.
• Keep written records of any attempts by family members to conceal or move assets — courts value contemporaneous documentation.
• If you face threats, harassment, or physical exclusion from property or children, consider contacting local law enforcement and a lawyer right away — those are situations that might require immediate civil or criminal intervention as well as probate remedies.
• Ask the Probate Court clerk for guidance on forms and filing procedures in your county; clerks cannot give legal advice but can explain process and paperwork.
• If cost is a concern, look for legal aid programs, limited-scope attorney help, or lawyer referral through the Maine Bar Association to get targeted assistance.