Overview

If your spouse died without a will in New Jersey and their blood relatives refuse to cooperate, you can still seek appointment as the estate administrator (also called the personal representative). This page explains, in plain language, the usual legal path, what to expect, and practical steps you can take so a court appoints you and the estate is administered correctly.

Disclaimer

This is general information, not legal advice. I am not a lawyer. For decisions about your specific situation, consult a licensed New Jersey attorney who handles probate and estates.

Key legal background (short)

New Jersey’s probate rules and intestacy principles are codified in Title 3B of the New Jersey Statutes (the probate and estate code). Surrogate’s Courts in each county handle appointment of administrators and probate matters. For official procedural information, see the New Jersey Courts Surrogates pages: https://www.njcourts.gov/courts/surrogates.html. For the statutory code, see the New Jersey Legislature website: https://www.njleg.state.nj.us/.

Detailed answer — step-by-step

1. Confirm intestacy and locate the proper court

Intestacy means your spouse left no valid will. The county Surrogate where the decedent lived (or where substantial estate property is located) handles appointment. Find your county Surrogate’s office through the New Jersey Courts Surrogates page: county Surrogate offices.

2. Gather required documents and prepare the petition

Typical documents the Surrogate will want:

• Certified copy of the death certificate
• Marriage certificate or other proof you were the decedent’s spouse
• List of known heirs and relatives (names and addresses)
• A preliminary inventory of estate assets (bank accounts, real estate, vehicle titles, life insurance, retirement accounts)
• Your government ID

The court filing is usually called a petition for letters of administration or an application for administration. Many counties provide local forms and instructions; check the Surrogate’s office website for forms and fee information.

3. Priority for appointment — why the court will likely favor you

Under New Jersey law, a surviving spouse generally has priority to be appointed as the personal representative of an intestate estate. That means if you are the decedent’s lawful spouse, the court will commonly grant you appointment unless there is a competing candidate with a stronger legal claim or the spouse is unfit. Even if family members object or refuse to cooperate, their lack of cooperation alone usually does not prevent the Surrogate from appointing a qualified spouse.

4. Filing, notice, and bond

After you file the petition, the Surrogate usually requires notice to interested persons (heirs and sometimes creditors). If no one objects, the Surrogate can issue “letters of administration,” which give you authority to act for the estate.

Bond: The court may require an estate bond (insurance protecting the estate against misconduct). Some bonds can be waived if all heirs sign a written waiver or if the Surrogate’s office rules allow it. If the deceased’s family refuses to sign waivers, the Surrogate may require you to post a bond or may hold a short hearing to decide whether to require bond or grant limited powers.

5. If family members actively oppose your appointment

Opposition typically takes two forms: refusal to cooperate (not signing waivers or providing information) or formal objection to your appointment. The court resolves disputes through a Surrogate’s hearing. What you can expect and do:

• The Surrogate will schedule a hearing where both sides can present evidence about who should be appointed.
• Bring proof of your marriage, your role in your spouse’s life (financial management, caregiving, payment of bills), and any other evidence that supports why you are the proper appointee.
• If family members are obstructing access to assets (bank accounts, safe-deposit boxes), ask the court for temporary or emergency letters so you can secure and preserve estate property. The court can order banks to freeze or release accounts to the administrator.
• If family members refuse to disclose estate information, the court can compel production and impose sanctions for interference.

6. Practical mechanics once appointed

When you receive letters of administration, you can:

• Collect estate assets and secure property
• Pay valid debts and funeral expenses
• Open an estate bank account and deposit receipts
• Provide creditor notice as required
• File an inventory and eventual accounting with the Surrogate

7. When to get an attorney

If the family is uncooperative, contentious, or if the estate has significant assets, real estate, contested claims, or potential creditor issues, hiring a New Jersey probate attorney is strongly recommended. A lawyer can prepare the petition, represent you at hearings, request emergency relief, and help negotiate or litigate disputes over appointment and estate matters.

Timing and likely costs

Uncontested appointments can be completed in a few weeks to a few months depending on the county and how quickly you file. Contested proceedings can take many months and increase costs because of hearings and attorney fees. Expect court filing fees, costs for certified copies of the death certificate, and possibly bond premiums or attorney fees.

When assets pass outside probate

Not every item goes through probate. Jointly titled property, life insurance with a named beneficiary, and retirement accounts with designated beneficiaries usually pass outside the estate. The administrator’s role addresses the probate estate only. Collect documentation for both probate and non-probate assets when you file your petition.

Helpful Hints

• Contact the county Surrogate’s office early and ask for a checklist and local forms — every county posts procedures and fees: New Jersey Surrogate Offices.
• Get several certified copies of the death certificate right away; banks and other institutions usually require certified copies.
• Document everything: communications with family, attempts to get information, and steps you take to preserve assets.
• If the family refuses to sign waivers, don’t assume you cannot be appointed — the Surrogate may still appoint you after a hearing or may require a bond instead of waivers.
• Ask the Surrogate about temporary letters or emergency relief if you need immediate authority to protect assets, pay burial expenses, or prevent loss.
• Keep personal and estate funds separate. Open an estate account once you have letters of administration.
• If you suspect fraud or property hiding, tell the court and consider getting legal counsel to seek discovery or court orders.
• Check whether certain assets have beneficiary designations or joint ownership that bypass probate before filing a full administration petition.
• Look up relevant statutory provisions and procedures on the New Jersey Legislature site: https://www.njleg.state.nj.us/, and use the NJ Courts self-help pages for basic forms and explanations: https://www.njcourts.gov/selfhelp/.

Bottom line

If you are the surviving spouse, you usually have priority to be appointed administrator under New Jersey law. Even if the decedent’s family will not cooperate, the Surrogate’s Court can appoint you after you file the proper petition, give required notice, and, if necessary, after a hearing. If family members obstruct access to estate property or file objections, the court has tools to resolve the dispute. Because contested probate can be complex, you should consider consulting a New Jersey probate attorney early to protect the estate and your legal interests.