Detailed Answer

Short answer: In Oregon you can ask the probate court to appoint you as the decedent’s personal representative even if the estate is intestate and the decedent’s family is uncooperative. Oregon courts prioritize appointment to the surviving spouse unless someone with higher priority files a competing petition. You start by filing a petition for appointment with the probate court in the county where your spouse lived, providing basic documents, giving required notice, and attending a hearing if there is an objection.

Step-by-step: what to expect and what to do

1. Locate the correct probate court and clerk. File in the county where your spouse (the decedent) was domiciled at death. The court’s probate clerk can confirm local filing rules, required forms, and fees. See Oregon Judicial Department probate information: https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/probate/Pages/default.aspx.
2. Prepare and file a Petition for Appointment of Personal Representative. The petition asks the court to appoint you to administer the estate. If there is no will (intestate), state that fact. Typical attachments include a certified copy of the death certificate, a basic inventory or list of known assets, and a proposed order or appointment form. Many Oregon courts use standardized probate forms (see Oregon probate forms): https://www.courts.oregon.gov/forms/Pages/Probate.aspx.
3. Provide notice to heirs and interested persons. Oregon law requires notice to heirs and other interested persons so they know a petition has been filed and have a chance to object. The clerk will tell you who must be notified and how notice must be served. If heirs refuse to cooperate, serving them properly (by mail or personal service as required) is usually sufficient to move forward.
4. Bond and waivers. The court may require a bond (insurance protecting the estate) unless waived by the court or by the heirs. If you are the surviving spouse and the sole heir, courts often waive or reduce bond; if others are heirs or object, a bond is more likely. Discuss bond options with the clerk; forms and information are available from the Oregon Judicial Department (probate forms link above).
5. Attend the hearing (if required or if there are objections). If no one objects and the paperwork is in order, some courts will appoint you without a contested hearing. If family members object or file a competing petition, the court will set a hearing. At the hearing you’ll show your relationship, your proposed qualifications, and proof of proper notice and filings. The court will apply Oregon’s appointment priority rules and decide who should serve.
6. When family members won’t cooperate or try to block you. Noncooperation is common. Courts will appoint the person with highest statutory priority who is willing and qualified. If family members refuse to sign waivers or to turn over assets, let the court process run: once appointed, you have legal authority to collect assets, inventory the estate, and take steps to secure property. If someone is actively interfering (hiding assets, changing locks, removing property), notify the court immediately and consider asking for temporary orders or emergency relief to protect estate property.
7. If there are competing petitions. Oregon prioritizes who may be appointed (surviving spouse, adult children, parents, etc.). The court will determine priority, fitness, and any conflicts of interest. If someone else files to be appointed, you can present reasons why you should be appointed (relationship, availability, integrity, emotional stability, prior involvement with affairs). The court decides based on the statutory priority and what is best for the estate and creditors.

Key legal references and resources

• Oregon Judicial Department — General probate information and forms: https://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/probate/Pages/default.aspx
• Oregon probate forms (Petition for Appointment, Letters, Bond forms, Notices): https://www.courts.oregon.gov/forms/Pages/Probate.aspx
• Oregon Revised Statutes and legislative materials (search for probate, intestacy, and personal representative rules): https://www.oregonlegislature.gov/bills_laws/Pages/ORS.aspx

Practical timeline

Filing and initial appointment can sometimes happen quickly if no one objects and forms are correct (a few weeks, depending on court schedules). If heirs object or there is a dispute over appointment or assets, the process can take months. Start filing promptly to protect assets and limit creditor claims.

When to get help from a lawyer

If the decedent’s family actively obstructs the administration (refusing to allow access to accounts or property, hiding assets, filing competing petitions, or making allegations about your fitness), hire a probate attorney experienced in contested appointments. An attorney can file emergency motions, represent you at hearings, and help enforce court orders. If the estate is simple and family disagreements are minor, many people handle the appointment process themselves with court clerks’ assistance and the available forms.

Disclaimer

This article explains general Oregon probate procedures but is not legal advice. For advice about your specific situation, contact a licensed Oregon attorney or the probate court clerk.

Helpful Hints

• Gather key documents before filing: certified death certificate, marriage certificate, any bank statements, property deeds, vehicle titles, and a list of likely creditors and contacts.
• Call the county probate clerk early — they can confirm forms, fees, and notice requirements for your county.
• Serve notice properly to heirs even if they won’t cooperate; proper service is often enough to proceed.
• If immediate control of property is needed (e.g., to secure a home or bank account), ask the court for temporary or emergency relief in your petition or by separate motion.
• Keep careful records of all actions, communications, and expenses. The personal representative must account for the estate and can be held responsible for mistakes or mismanagement.
• Consider mediation if the family dispute is primarily interpersonal — courts may encourage or order mediation to avoid lengthy litigation.
• Explore simplified or small-estate procedures if the estate qualifies; the probate clerk or attorney can confirm eligibility.